'Relationship FOMO' and the unrealistic portrayal of romance

AP Dhillon’s new song With You is making rounds on the internet and spamming everyone's hearts. I'm sure by the insane amount of times it has appeared on everyone's feed, the video is etched into everyone's mind. The music video is a love letter to his current girlfriend. While highly adorable, it is making people feel insecure. It is causing singles to question their lives and making couples question their relationships. 'Why is my man not that cute?' Or 'Why doesn't he do any of this?' 'Why don't I have someone like this?' Singles commenting ' Us when?' 'Me and who?' like crazy on the post. The music video has reached so many people that it is now giving people 'Relationship FOMO'. If that's even a thing. 

The reality is, that it never started from here. 'Relationship FOMO' started a long time back with the advent of romance books and K-dramas. It just got distributed to the non-readers through his MV. Wattpad since 2016 has been setting these idealistic expectations of how love should be. Love being viewed through rosy coloured glasses, everything working out, minimal heartbreak. That's not real love. At least not the love many of us have experienced. Of course, the love depicted in the music video might be true; it is still an exaggerated version of romance. 

So as Kdrama watchers and Wattpad users, we have been setting unrealistic standards for quite a long time. A lot of us do get to find people who match our criteria. Romance tropes like 'enemies to lovers', 'friends to lovers', 'fixing the bad boy', 'office romance' 'brother's best friend' and whatnot. We've read and watched them all. That's why we expect to experience it all. Which we don't. We reject people because they don't fit into the mould we've perfected of an 'ideal partner'. In reality, the concept of 'ideal' is limited to fiction. This utopian concept doesn't transcend into the real world. 

Some argue that these media just allow us to know what to expect or for that matter know how to be treated right. Which in a way is true. Everyone doesn't expect a fairytale romance but it teaches us about equal partnership, responsibility and sticking through thick and thin. So in a way, they do set realistic expectations. 

Moral: Romance books and dramas set neo-realistic expectations. 

The question persists if we get this relationship FOMO from watching dramas and reading Wattpad; why do we continue to subscribe to it? Many people would argue maybe it's an escape, from reality. Getting lost in a fictionalised world where prince charming actually exists and the shoe fits. In reality, however, prince charming is broke and the shoe is the wrong size.

Some say that time and again research has proven that watching dramas heals something psychologically and lowers anxiety. So we end up getting boosts of dopamine while streaming these dramas. Do more of what makes you happy right? Especially if it's free.

After completing the dramas we are left with a bittersweet aftertaste. One because it was cute and you're happy for them. The other being it's over so now you have to get back to reality. Your reality. 

So yes even after I know that I'm going to hyper-fixate on that one ideal man who'll sweep me off my feet knowing that it's not real I'm going to continue to binge my shows. Why you ask? Why not?

I love feeling mushy inside, even for a little while. 

Current drama: When I Fly Towards You - Netflix